NO LONGER HUMAN

NO LONGER HUMAN

25th January 2026

 

CW: Mental health, child abuse, death

This is where I’ll (hopefully) be when the world ends. In what I call my ‘cute room’. I lacked a safe space as a child, but now I have a locked door and pastel plushies and prints to look at, as well as the stories and images on my screen of the ongoing murders, rape, and strip of choice in this burning world. All through the very same screen you’re looking at right now.

It doesn’t matter which skin I’m in – I feel more like an undesirable creature than a human. A creature who’s been spectacting the interesting, chaoctic, and dehumanising actions humans decide to inflict on each other. I am a creature in its pastel room, while humans are busy burning the same world they bring children into. I’d rather be in my soft state and surrounded by these cute things that make sense to me than be among those who normalise death and the destruction of humanity.

No Longer Human, written by Osamu Dazai, was Dazai’s last novel and (supposedly) his suicide note. If Dazai and I agree that trauma can disconnect someone with the idea of what it means to be human, then what does one call those who make innocents suffer by inflicting that trauma in the first place? Forcing ideologies. Lining us up for public executions. Selling our location and data. Throwing us into generators for the amusement of men.

If I don’t feel human for feeling too much or nothing at all, then what does it mean for those who are talked into losing their humanity and encouraging others to do the same? And if humanity lies in connection, what happens when that connection is severed?

We are no longer human. This is where I’ll (hopefully) be when the world ends.

– GG / D

Styling:

Wearing: Libidex
Shine: Vivishine

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Diary entry – Wednesday 21st October 2026

I’m just gonna start of by telling you that I’m gonna sound like a basketcase because: 1. I am, and 2. Because crazy shit makes you (sound) crazy.

I don’t wanna ruin Evangelion (the anime) for anyone, but that’s where I see us (humans) going. Old men desperately trying to race to become Gods because safely emerging from a Goddess wasn’t good enough for them. Is it really necessary to live forever or beyond your physical form if it means watching the world burn and see others suffer?

We get it – you wanna be in control, but for what? Your “legacy”? Ego? We’re you ever really in control if allowed your ego to get the best of you? As for legacy, you’ll still die one day, and your “legacy” will be left to clean up your mess.

I know – I’m unraveling. It’s just one of those days. It’s been a weird year. Vandalised designer storefronts receive more grief over actual devastation. Communities I’m a part of (including myself) are being censored online. In the last 24 hours, Meta made us become one, Revolut went MIA, my hosting site was dealing with an “incident”, but sure – we’re fine. No one’s in any danger.

Every now and then I think about my late uncle/father figure, and I say, “It’s a good thing he’s dead because it means he doesn’t have to see this shitshow”. Even our devices are overheating. Most of my loved ones have brain fog. We’re fucking knackered.

I shot NO LONGER HUMAN in my cute room. The message remains the same. I’m still holding onto the good. Even if our communities are erased online, it doesn’t stop us from existing. The damage is high, sure, but humans are resilient. We were built for community. We were made to rebel, even when the world is on fire.

I wonder how it’ll play out.

Inspo:

Photo: Happy Victims by Kyoichi Tsuzuki

Most frilly enthusiasts are familiar with books and magazines of people in their bedrooms, with their wardrobe. One of the books in the shots of me on the bed includes this. I’ve done shots like that in the past, but none that reveal my kink self and non-kink self. Even when my friends have seen these photos, they’ve said, “Oh yeah, that reminds me of Happy Victims“. I still don’t have the book. Hint, hint.

Set up: shot in my cute room/ where I display my frilly clothes and kawaii treasures. I know people would say, “Why are you in a little girl’s room“, but there’s no way a child or their parents could afford this or obtain the majority of what’s in here. No. This room is very much for a woman who is also very much a nerd. You need a good eye, too much time on the Internet, and at least some change. The Hello Kitty vibrator in my hand (which was advertised as a massager and had the model using it on her neck) is definitely not PG. Certain people who were in the kink scene 15+ years ago might remember that little gadget.

The outfit hung up behind me in the first shot is the same I was in Tea for 1 – my other self portrait. The rarity of objects include sort after magazines that are no longer in circulation, a hard to get Nana x Vivienne Westwood manga (that I got in London and queued for), Japan-exclusive releases, and instax with friends. The IKEA shark is known to be a trans icon/ally. I named him Bruce, as in Bruce Willis (I got him for Christmas and rewatched Die Hard). Coincidentally, the shark from Jaws is also called Bruce, so it’s a happy coincidence.

Did you know I love forklifts? Hence the handmade ‘forklift certified from Claire’s‘ certificate from a friend. I look at those instax most days. I look at the cute gifts from friends, especially the plushies. I have gifts from people who are no longer here, which makes them even more precious. My wedding dress is in that large Sanrio box above the wardrobe.

People get a lot of shit for living in a room, but can you blame us? Even if I seem alone in there, it’s full of something. I’ll come out at some point. Might just need something good waiting for me. I know there is.

 

– Good Grief / DXXXRK