MANIC, I AM / MANNEQUIN

MANIC, I AM / MANNEQUIN

27th September 2025

CW: Sexual Assault

Instability requires balance and a good form to counter it. Training takes time, and more importantly, faith in oneself. Keep on rocking on – just mind your ankles.

I’ve been on the not-so-fun side of feeling like a doll/mannequin/puppet for the amusement of others. Just a play thing to be discarded. Parts of me moved around, things inserted, all for the click of a camera and the person behind it. Imortalised flesh-born mannequin.

Posed with some whimsy and some stillness, which is how I feel about this series – unstable and unsure. Pretty/tired.

Hope you are doing okay.

– GG/ D

Self portraits by myself . Assisted by my partner (I was sightless in this hood).

Styling:

Rubber: Hood by Devobon | Leggings by Libidex | Gloves by Breathless Latex
Shine: Vivishine
Lace: AatP Blouse, Skirt and Beret | BTSSB socks
Accessories: Necklace, earrings, watch and bag Vivienne Westwood
Ankle breakers/shoes: Bodyline

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Diary entry – Tuesday 20th October 2026

First of all – no, it’s not AI slop, and that’s not an actual mannequin. That’s me under all that rubber, lace and petti.

Not being able to see what the fuck you’re doing while in a pair of platforms that are missing the back heels, is pretty fucking annoying. This was not graceful. I was such a sulky cow doing these. The hood was flat on my face, so I didn’t bother speaking/communicating with my partner, who was helping me take these. I was very much a helpless doll.

It works for this. BPD/EUPD can be just as unstable as these rocking horse shoes. It can be so back and forth between one minute and the next. Euphoric, then devastated. What goes up, must come down.

There was a particular assault that I experienced where I felt like a puppet. My eyes would just start to glaze over while parts of me were being moved around by them. People are shit. But I still wanna be my own thing. I wanna move my parts myself. If I’m sitting or standing pretty own my own, that’s good, too, even if I am sulking to myself.

On a different, less depressing but still unfortunate note, the shot on the floor is my favourite. It was not posed. I was sad, tired, and sighing repeatedly. I waved to dismiss my partner who was helping me take the shots, but because I spoke no words, he misunderstood, and took a photo. Petticoats on show are seen as indecent in the frilly world, but there’s nothing explicit about this. It’s just kind of sad rather than peaceful, which is obviously a contrast with the more playful shots.

I hate how I edited these. I was exhausted. I hated the set. I’m not suited to studio adjacent shots (although this was set in my living room). It’s not in my bones, but it worked for a mannequin x high fashion inspired shot. I still hate it, though.

Inspo:

Most definitely Vivienne Westwood inspired. The rocking horse shoes are iconic in frilly fashion, thanks to VW. They are lovingly referred to as “ankle breakers” by some frilly enthusiasts due to the horror stories ones hears from wearing them in public/down the stairs.

Styling:

My thick hood was fit for a mannequin and not a human head (I was pre-warned). Nose crushed. Unable to speak properly because it was so close to my face. Drool occasionally emerging out of the nose holes because my cheeks were pressed. Gross upon removal. Not graceful at all.

Should I have gotten a hood with perforated holes? Maybe. I mean, sure, I can edit them out, but it wouldn’t be the same. And that’s kind of the point. Being a mannequin can be hopeless. Unstable. Pretty. Broken. I was a very moody mannequin.

The sash, skirt and matching beret were gifts from two friends. To this day, I don’t know why (or how) they got it for me. It’s one of my favourite sets in my wardrobe. I fell in love with it after seeing it in the brand’s video of their fashion show. I’m very sentimental about it. The blouse and socks are of the same brand. The bag, iconic SEX earrings (also a gift), necklace and watch, are all VW. This frilly fashion that I love so many has a lot of VW influence, so yes, I’m merging my loves.

I wanna end on the fact that there are some incredible rubbery and faceless icons in the kink scene. People I can recognise just by their eyeliner, or shape of their mouth – even though the rest of them is covered in latex. They’re inspiring as fuck. Mannequins and dolls can still hold a personality, despite the look of anonymity. They have their edges. They have their style. They’re not necessarily for others to position. They can move themselves.