IN FRAGANTI (Red-handed / caught in the act)

IN FRAGANTI (red-handed/caught in the act)

7th June 2025

CW: Sexual assault

The instax/film I’m burning was taken by a photographer in London, UK. They raped me during a shoot with them almost 14 years ago. That might seem long enough for the imprint to fade, but there are some things that simply do not go away with time.

It was unfortunately not the only sexual assault I experienced as a model. Those sticky moments have all meshed together and become one big stain. I like to think I’m burning/melting it away with this set, but I sense it will continue to mutate into something else.

This set was inspired by Fragile from the video game by Hideo Kojima , Death Stranding (the visual is from DS2), and Sofia Gigante in the TV Series, The Penguin. No spoilers, but we are all connected.

Horrible things happened to me, but they make me crave beautiful things even more. I have perspectives and views on consent that those men never did. I’m grateful that I do not use trauma as an excuse to involuntarily hurt others, but rather a tool that I can choose to connect and build with. One does not require trauma to be good, nor slippery. It is a part of my timeline, but we all have something to gain from wanting to rebuild a better world with less trauma.

Thank you for reading. Be good.

– D/GG

Clothing: Dress by Lateksowefr / Leggings and socks bh5 Libidex / Black opera gloves by Breathless Latex / Red gloves by Honour

Shine: Vivishine

 

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Diary entry – Monday 19th October 2026

This set was shot over a year ago, and yet the burnt images still sit in the same tin bucket I threw them into on the day of the shoot. I don’t know what to do with them. I can’t stand them and what they mean to me, and yet, they feel too important to discard entirely. Perhaps it should sit in that box that we all want to forget about, but can’t seem to shift.

Photo: Sofia (The Penguin) and Fragile (Death Stranding 2)

IN FRAGANTI was partly an homage to fellow women in pain, and how we deal with trauma. In this case: Fragile (from the video game, Death Stranding 2) and Sofia Gigante (from the TV Series of The Penguin). Fra + gante (name spelling changed to meet its meaning) = fragante / fraganti (Il Fraganti meaning red-handed / caught in the act). Women who come face to face with their maker do not necessarily heal. Something else can manifest. Still – the process is important.

References: In The Penguin, Sofia retrieves a cigar cutter from the inside of her dress – similar to what’s being done here with the retrieval of the photos to burn. The outfit is based off a look of Sofia Gigante, as well as the gloves that move independently around Fragile’s neck, which light her cigarette. The fingers ‘click’ to ignite it, which I’ve also done here.

Edit and meaning: always Photoshop – no generative AI. Just seen are faded red soles – not necessarily to resemble Louboutins like Sofia’s character. I contemplated on making them more visible, but I didn’t want it to be too distracting. The plastic on the floor and chair was included because it’s associated something you put down before you make a mess.

The three versions of “me” represent the past, present and future. No change, like the timeline it’s looping. The fourth (in the chair) is “me” coming to terms with the matter at hand, and DXXXRK’s presence (red gloves) standing behind in the next shots. The compilation of the other three are assisting Grief with closure – but only in part. Unlike Grief’s hands, DXXXRK’s hands come with a stain (red). She’s prepared to get them dirty, and to reveal truth and ugliness. Truth helps us to heal. “Bad people are bad”, etc, however, they don’t always like to admit that, and thus, we carry resentment towards them and ourselves. If you’re faced with acceptance by your own shadow, it’s still hard to digest, but it is possible. It’s basically just a “Fuck you” to himself. It doesn’t matter if the world doesn’t know. I know. He knows. She knows.

(Fucking hell, I feel like a pretentious prat when write this shit out).

Process: this was shot in my living room. I was exhausted by the end of first shot/setup. I couldn’t physically move the lighting into a more flattering position, which is why it looks better from the second shot (I yelled at my partner to come in and move it for me).

The GIF (currently not shown due to site issue) is several photos (my partner hit the trigger while my hands were MIA), rather than take frames from a video. I did this so I could use those images to edit. The top half of me is separate from the bottom half so I could edit out the towel from my lap (the towel was there to catch the ash and not ruin my gorgeous clothes). It’s weird that it’s a different shot from the waist down, but that’s the beauty of Photoshop and putting images together yourself. You feel like a mad scientist.

When I look back at these, nothing has changed. I feel fine. Indifferent. Just kinda “meh” about the topic at hand. Would’ve preferred to have shot it better but it’s still an important piece to me, regardless.

Fuck, I’m tired. This post actually took a whole day due to uploading issues. I’m gonna have a cookie. You should have one, too.

– Good Grief / DXXXRK