Trigger warning: Mental Health, Self Harm

Good afternoon. I hope your weekend has started better than mine. Earlier this week, I shared images of me walking around the kitchen in my strap-on while I was making dinner. Off-screen, my mind has been in the all-too familiar dark place. It’s fitting to my name (both of them).

This is not unfamiliar for Dom(mes), and not limited to them, either. I’d say anyone who’s openly into Kink is going to get this coming their way. There’s expectations for me to always be DTF, or I’m perceived as someone who’s open to hear every single sexually explicit conversation, no matter my mood. Yes, I’ve done adult work. Yes, I’ve had ENM partners. No, that doesn’t mean I always feel sexy. No, that doesn’t mean I want to perform for you. I’ve had to flip that switch so many times, but eventually, it gets worn down. It’s okay to be honest when it comes to fragility/what it means to be human, but it can be difficult at times when you’re Dominant.

If one doesn’t take a step back, it will sure as hell contribute to burnout, but sometimes, there isn’t an out. I’ve been forced to be in situations I’d rather not be in for the sake of pleasing someone else. I’ve had to shoot explicit content when I’ve been self-harming/feeling suicidal that same week. It’s great to have the choice or to be in a financial position to do so, but the stats show the majority of women who do fall into Sex Work are doing it out of poverty. It’s fine to be a Domme who’s financially stable, whether that be from their day job or support from subs, but it’s not as discussed when Dominatrix’s (are working to make a living, and) are fucking exhausted.

When shit is good, I’m locked in. I’m cocky and comfortable. Subs can smell the smoke off My flame. I mean, that’s how I ended up on your screen in the first place. Neither of us should forget that.

– GOOD GRIEF / DXXXRK