We’re gonna be focusing on two main questions today:
1. Why do men think less of other men who enjoy being dominated?
2. Why do people think women hate men because they enjoy dominating them?

Is it the lack of education, our thoughts on our own shame and insecurities, or simply what happens when gender roles are forced upon us? Let’s dig in.

Too often, I’ll have a male acquaintance tell me they’re “Definitely a Dom”, and I’ll: 1. Have a wee, internal giggle, and 2. Humour them. It’s not my first rodeo with a shy cookie, so it’s best to treat it like someone in the closet. Dominant, alpha and masculine are all considered to be in the same box for what is acceptable for a man, but it’s amusing when these same men don’t know the first thing about owning a room, or which washing machine setting to use for their basic-ass shirt from Zara. And you know what – that’s actually okay, lads. It’s okay to be babygirl, and not know every answer. It’s okay to be shy and to stutter when you approach a cute women. It’s okay to be submissive.

Men are taught that they’re protectors and providers. I’ll hear a young man with this ingrained in them and ask me, “Who’s going to save you?”, without acknowledging the act they’re supposedly “saving” me from is the very one brought on by men. As for providing, they mostly provide me with a headache or disappointment. They can hold onto that.

I find that the men who are exhausted from male expectations are the same ones who want to be collared by a goth mommy. The uninformed/controlling see them as weak, which is funny because most submissive men I’ve played with have actually been extremely fit, rugby/gym-bro types. Even the scrawny lad who provides me entertainment would be freakishly strong, in mind as well as body. Being honest is strong, brave, and goes against everything society has whacked into them from birth. The confusion and envy they receive makes sense.

Now, lets touch on the second question: what are my thoughts on men? Do I hate men? Am I looking to take all my trauma out on men because of what they did to me? Is that why I enjoy being on top?

I kinda don’t wanna answer just to fuck with you, but insight is valuable if the person asking is capable of absorbing it. So…are you ready? Well…open wide.

I honestly have no desire to lay my hands on a man I truly despise. Ew. My presence is far too valuable, and I wouldn’t even bless a fool with my gaze. Goodness, no. I’ve done the trial and error, and I’m not interested in back and forth banter with a man who had no business in speaking with me in the first place. As for taking my trauma out on men, I would rather let karma do its thing. Play is a great way to release energy, but I choose to avoid people in general if I’m not stable, or be in a very controlled space. Also, I don’t just play with men, and it still bothers me when people assume I’m straight when I’m openly queer, but I digress.

The men I keep in my circle are good men. Thoughtful. Respectful. Hard-working. Dominant, submissive, both or none of the above. As for men who kill and rape women, start wars, encourage famine and poverty, hoard wealth – yes, I most definitely hate those men. My current default has been to assume that a man is not good until he gives me reason to think otherwise. You may call this unfair, but I’ve based this on my direct in person and online experiences with men, as well as global impacts. Protecting my time and my mental and physical safety is valid. Women and children are the first to feel impact of every downfall. Men aren’t killed when women dislike them. Women are killed when men dislike them.

I have another question for you (you’ll notice that I have many questions to scratch at your brain). How do you see your circle of friends, and how do you support them/show affection? I had a gentleman friend leave the table before our drinks arrived. He intentionally left his credit card on the table to pay for them. There’s a reason we call men like that, “Good boys”. It’s not degrading to take care of the women in your circle, but some men seem to think so and I wonder why. As a pansexual woman, I want to do it at every possible opportunity because I genuinely believe the beautiful creatures in my life deserve it.

I guess it doesn’t matter where the misconceptions start because it’s inevitable, but rather, where we can *whip* end them.

When insecure/uncreative men imagine submissive men, they think of two things: weakness and “going against biology”.

There’s been more awareness on how shame affects us. We waste so much of our lives in hiding, but it’s easier for some to accept, rather than be honest with themselves. It takes balls to go outside the expectations our families, peers and governments have set for us. People who see others outside of the order feel resentment towards others who fought out. It’s scary and there’s risk of being abandoned or worse by not fitting into society’s norms.

I hope that men can learn that there is so much strength in submission, and the evidence is in some of the men who submit. Too often, they work excessive hours, are in charge of too much, and are…pretty hot, to be honest. Perhaps that last one the biggest burden of all.

This isn’t me forcing men to be into submission, by the way. I’m encouraging them to understand that black and white thinking can keep you in a box of shame. A submissive man isn’t less of a man just because they’re submissive. In my opinion, a man is less of a man when they’re dangerous and disrespectful, which can occur in any role.

As for dominant women, yes, a lot of time we appear to serve cunt. It’s our right. It helps draw certain people in and put off timewasters. We’ve done the trial error. We see through bullshit fast. Men can choose see women they can’t berate out of their standards as a threat, OR, they can simply move on, and learn to keep investing in educating themselves. You should question your reasons for trying pick at or lower someone’s personal values or expectations, instead of being upset at their lack of interest of entertaining them/you.

In regards to women who think less of other women for not “giving men a chance”, I’d say we give men way too many chances because we’re taught to by default (including as young girls), which is not only dangerous but it can confuse men. I understand being compliant as a way of staying safe, but establishing healthy boundaries shouldn’t be seen as rude. It’s why I have the approach I have today. Educating other women to respect their time can keep them sane, but it can also keep them alive.

The algorithm is controlled by angry, hideous, rich men, who are constantly feeding us bullshit. They want us to rip each other part and stay in boxes. Don’t fall for it. Be like Louis Theroux, and choose to do a bit of digging. Educate yourself and keep an open mind, rather than “debate” and lose yourself fast. Have I ever told you you’re cuter when you’re open-minded?

Be good.

– GOOD GRIEF / DXXXRK